While a lot of this blog so far has been my political views, I do kind of want to talk about myself for a lil bit here. It's kind of frustrating being where I'm at and realizing I've kind of gotten used to the wine mom life style but I also sort of love it. I've never really partied growing up or even really did much sneaking out and I feel like that's probably due to my upbringing but also, there's a lot of my personal life that changed and how my priorities in the past two years have been done for. I feel a bit disillusioned by music now if I'm being quite honest. It's always been on and off but as of lately, I've realized that I'm not actually passionate about music. Not that it means that I dislike it or anything or that there's a feeling of displeasure to it but it's more on the fact that I feel as though I don't feel that immediate want to make music as much anymore. Maybe it's the shift in feeling or honestly even just taking Philosophy of Music but I think I'm away from the feelings of music solely because I'm just not angry and 17-20 anymore. I've for the most part also hated over analyzing it when I got into philosophy, I want to sometimes just get away from my work not just constantly be reminded that when I look or hear anything that i HAVE to think about it and make it into a sort of discussion. Weirdly enough, I kind of learned to love music with no lyrics or spoken voice at all. I for the most part genuinely just love the content of it. The fact that with the music there really is no certainty of what the artist could've meant and you can make assumptions but you'll never actually understand or get the feeling because of what's being shown in front of you. For the most part, it does sometimes make me so sad because of how much I've grown my social life because of music. In a way it really is a part of me but I don't think my purpose in this world is to create music or to be some sort of great artist where I sing. Sure, I like writing music and I like performing, but I feel like in genuine all seriousness, my true passion in the world is philosophy and will always be philosophy.
I forgot to say this in my philosophy of music class as well but there was a philosopher of music/music critic named Hanslick who once expressed that the music that you listen to is not the objective feeling with music nor has to do with the content but actually the feeling that you have is solely rooted in just how you feel not what the music actually has. It was really interesting solely because like, duh of course the music itself doesn't have true emotions, but I feel like that comparison could be related to written word or poetry. So you mean to tell me that the written words would never have feeling but in reality they are meant to convey something and that's just... NOT VALUABLE???? I miss that class and my film class a lot. Genuinely so fun to learn the aesthetics but I also am very excited to continue on with my learning.
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